


The Fear Loki Tried To Bury

by Rathian Empress (ANGRBODA69)



Series: The Fears of a Broken Mind [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Intersex Loki, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Natasha has a conscience, Poor Loki, Possessive Fandral, Turns out Fandral was even more of a bastard than was first realized, so does tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-30 09:36:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5158916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ANGRBODA69/pseuds/Rathian%20Empress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things come to a head after Natasha's morals get in the way of keeping Loki's secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fear Loki Tried To Bury

**Author's Note:**

> So hello there! Sorry, I haven't updated in awhile. Been a bit busy. And then I got off track from not working on this for so long and I lost track of where I was going with the fic. But I'm back now! So...yay!
> 
> ENJOY!

Natasha recovered quicker than Loki from Fandral's sudden appearance.

"Hey, Fandral. I was just teaching Loki a bit about Midgardian technology. I can't believe he's been here for two years and still doesn't even know what a cell phone is," she said with a smile. Fandral smiled back.

"Well, Loki always was stubborn," he said quietly, his eyes skimming over the god's rigid form. Natasha made a show of sighing loudly.

"Alright then. Tomorrow morning, we're going over Twitter. Be ready Loki," she said. Loki nodded slowly, forcing himself to smile. He watched her pass Fandral, looking over her shoulder worriedly.

After they were completely alone, Fandral watched the other god for a long moment.

"Why was she up here Loki?" he asked. Loki kept his gaze on the floor.

"Like she said. I have no need for Midgardian devices, but yet she insists on teaching me," he said. Fandral tangled his fingers in his hair, gripping tightly.

"Really? Then tell her to stop," he said. Loki swallowed thickly.

"But...I enjoy learning about Midgardian technology. And if I am to be here for the rest of my life, then I can see no harm in learning," he said, struggling to keep his voice even. He tensed when Fandral yanked harshly on his hair.

"You try my patience Loki," he breathed close to his ear. Loki squeezed his eyes shut, forcing himself not to pull away. Resisting would only make it worse.

"Please just leave Fandral. I'm just...so tired," Loki whimpered. Fandral smiled.

"No," he said coldly. Loki stood, waiting for him to move.

"I don't have time for this Fandral. Now please leave," he growled, trying for a more aggressive approach. Fandral laughed.

"That's not for you to decide now is it?" he said pleasantly as he advanced.

* * *

Natasha let out a sigh of relief when she made it back to her room safely. She'd half expected Fandral to actually follow her.

She grabbed her laptop and sat down on her bed. She plugged her phone in and proceeded to upload the rest of Loki's audio file onto her computer. She then burned it onto a disk.

She never could be too sure if Fandral had discovered what they'd been doing. He might try to destroy her computer to get rid of the evidence.

She removed the disk and slid it into a protective case, before hiding it in a secret vault she's had Tony install in her closet for private reasons. A spy could never be too sure.

Natasha paced around her room, a cold and unfamiliar feeling spreading across her chest. Guilt.

She knew she should tell someone, but Loki trusted her. Besides, it was only for a few more days. 'God I hope Loki is ok.' she thought as she went into her kitchen for a drink. She frowned, holding up the empty bottle of what used to be red wine. Clint.

She went back to her room, with a bottle of vodka she'd carefully hidden in one of her cabinets. She was beginning to rethink her living arrangement with the archer.

* * *

Tony sighed, stretching his legs out in front of him. Nine hours on the plane, six more to go. He sighed, popping a few dried cranberries into his mouth. Across from him, Pepper looked up from the reports sheets spread out on her laptop.

"Relax Tony. It's only going to be a few more hours," she assured him. He groaned, sinking deeper into his seat.

"Six more hours Pepper," he told her, clarifying. She smiled, shaking her head. He continued to pout.

"I hope nothing else is wrong back at the tower. I already have to fix JARVIS, thanks to Bruce's stupid tea incident," he said. Pepper couldn't help but continue to smile.

"Of course," she replied. Tony sat up, running his hands across his eyes.

"So glad I'm coming back early. No telling what's been going on while we've been over in Japan," He paused, looking at her.

"You think the tower is still there?" he asked worriedly. Pepper rolled her eyes.

"Tony, don't be ridiculous. If anything like that had happened, it would have been on the news," she scolded. The engineer sighed again, going back to throwing cranberries in the air and trying to catch them in his mouth. Pepper batted a stray berry away from her face.

"Tony stop it," she growled. The man grinned, dropping a few more berries into his mouth.

* * *

Bruce removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes tiredly, holding back a yawn. He'd been up all night working on a secret project of his, one he hadn't told any of the team about, feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing all in all. He squinted, swearing he just saw a flash of red across his peripheral vision.

"Working hard?" he heard Natasha ask close to his shoulder. He steadied himself, moving slowly to cover up his work. He was sort of glad he wasn't going crazy after all. He smiled up at her, nodding.

"Yeah, I guess I have," he answered, straightening up. She smiled, hopping up onto the worktable. She slid a warm mug of tea across the table to him, smiling.

"You don't mind me being here do you?" she asked him quietly. He shook his head, accepting the offered drink and taking a sip.

"Not at all. As a matter of fact, I think I need the company after all this time of being alone down here. Starting to see things," he admitted. Natasha cocked her head, contemplating. Bruce took another look at the results on the computer, frowning when they remained negative after making a few changes.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked. Bruce glanced up at her, swallowing thickly. Everything was suddenly uncomfortably hot all of a sudden.

"Sure," he answered. He set down his pen and leaned in.

"Have you ever...felt really guilty about anything before," she asked quietly. Bruce smiled.

"Well, that all depends on what you mean. Are we talking about pushing your sibling off a swing set as a kid or something...bigger?" he pressed. Natasha shrugged.

"I guess bigger. A lot bigger," she answered. He nodded.

"I guess so. Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked her. She shifted uncomfortably from where she was sitting.

"It's really not my place to tell actually," she sighed. Bruce raised the mug to his lips again but paused.

"It's not something that could hurt anyone else, is it?" he asked. Natasha stared down into her own beverage. She sighed heavily. After a few moments, she slid off the table.

"I have to go. Nice talking to you," she said. Bruce opened his mouth to call after her but closed it. He didn't know what he would say to make her stay, so he stayed quiet.

"Weird," he muttered, taking a large gulp of his now lukewarm tea. He drained the rest of it and set the cup aside, refocusing on his tests. He cleaned his glasses to give his hands something to do in their boredom.

He was getting nowhere at this point. Perhaps he should just wait until Tony came back. He glanced at the clock. 8:37 am it read. He sighed, cleaning his workspace. He'd try again in the morning. Hopefully, he would get better results.

* * *

Loki rolled away from Fandral as soon as he was sure the man was sleeping. He took a deep breath through his mouth, trying not to breathe in the smell of the air around him. He almost gagged, tasting it in his throat. He froze as Fandral shifted beside him. He held his breath, careful not to make a sound.

After ten minutes, his body began to cramp up from staying in on position for so long. He crept off the bed and across the room on his hands and knees. He pulled on a pair of pants and crawled over to his closet.

At the very back was where he kept his most prized, most private possessions. He carefully removed a panel in the floor, glancing over his shoulder at the form on the bed, searching for the slightest movie.

Loki pulled out a small pouch he usually used to store small amounts of herbs back on Asgard. He dumped the contents into his hand, staring at the tiny, purplish black pills.

He glanced back at Fandral, shaking his head. Tears formed in his eyes when he thought of what these tiny balls could do. Loki came out of the closet and worked his way out of the room.

Once he was out of the room, he sat on the sofa, wondering what he had done to deserve such a fate.

He thought back to his childhood, trying to find something that would help him make sense of it all. He shook his head, feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable for the first time in centuries.

He couldn't figure out where everything had gone wrong. Maybe he had somehow allowed Fandral to use him. Loki took a deep breath, calming himself. At the same time, he strained to hear any noises coming from the bedroom.

His gaze drifted back to the small black pills again. He had never intended to bring them to Midgard with him. They had been a precaution, in case Thanos had caught up with him somehow and he needed a way out.

He remembered the first time he had contemplated taking more than one of them when he had discovered he'd been pregnant for the first time.

* * *

_Loki unfolded the cloth to reveal the twelve small pills of his own making. He turned back to the book, making sure he hadn't missed a step, comparing them to the drawn images on the page._

_He hadn't thought it possible for a male to become pregnant, but Eir was never wrong. He trusted her more than he trusted anyone in the palace, besides his mother of course. This small bundle of pills would fix that if taken properly._

_Loki paused in his studies, hearing the sound of hooves outside. He climbed off of the bed and went to the balcony._

_In the distance, he could see five horses and their riders coming across the Bifrost. The two riders in the rear were using a travois to carry the carcass of a rather large wild boar behind them. Thor and the others had returned from their hunt. Vaguely, he realized there would probably be a grand feast the next night. His heart began to thunder in his chest as he caught sight of his brother's great hammer hanging from his hip._

_Loki tried to swallow, but his mouth was suddenly dry. He stared down at the second blond trailing behind his brother. As if sensing Loki's gaze, Fandral looked up at him. He smiled. Loki jerked away from view. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. He stuffed the pills into a hidden pocket in his robes and sat over in the corner, waiting._

_It was almost an hour before he heard anyone enter his chambers. Fandral entered the room, frowning at the darkness of the room._

_"Loki?" he called out. The younger god watched him for a few moments, deciding whether or not he should reveal himself._

_"You've returned early I see," Loki told him, rising and coming to stand in the light pouring in from the open curtains of the terrace. Fandral smiled, coming over to embrace him._

_Loki remained perfectly still as the man kissed his neck, then his jaw, working his way up to his lips. Loki turned his head away before their lips touched._

_"Fandral...I have to tell you something," Loki said, his voice barely rising above a whisper. The warrior pulled back a few inches._

_"Do you now? Well out with it. I don't think I'll be able to restrain myself for much longer," he told Loki, moving to undo his armor. Loki turned away from him, gathering his courage._

_"Fandral, I never thought I would say this, but...I'm pregnant," he said. The other man paused in his endeavors. He straightened, eyeing Loki coldly._

_"What?" he asked, his voice becoming harsh. Loki held in a frustrated sigh._

_"Really Fandral? You didn't think there would be repercussions for having sex with a hermaphrodite?" Loki demanded. Fandral stared at him._

_"Are you sure? How is it even possible? Just because you have a female cunt doesn't mean you're feminine inside too," the warrior told him. Loki's hands clenched into fists as he fought to control his anger. Loki continued to glare at him._

_"I went to Eir. She is never wrong about these things," Loki told him. Fandral's face hardened._

_"You told her? About us," the warrior hissed. Loki took a few steps away from the man as he felt Fandral's anger grow._

_"No, no, no!" Loki said hurriedly. Fandral grabbed his arm, twisting it painfully as he pulled the smaller man toward him._

_"Fandral, I didn't say anything. To anyone, I swear," Loki insisted, wincing as pain lanced up his arm. Loki pushed against the man's chest, trying to escape his hold._

_"Fandral, please. You're hurting me," Loki said in a small voice. Fandral hissed, letting him go. Loki rubbed his arm, knowing there would be a bruise forming by the time night fell if he didn't use magic to heal it. He didn't dare to use his magic in the presence of Fandral. Fandral grew uncomfortable at Loki's displays of it. Loki didn't think it would be any much help anyway. He hadn't learned anything other than charm magic. At Fandral's insistence of course._

_"How is that even possible? You told me that cunt between your legs wasn't functional," Fandral said accusingly. Loki swallowed._

_"That's what I thought. But apparently I was wrong," Loki pulled his robes tighter about himself and began circling the room._

_"What are you going to do with it?" Fandral asked him. Loki raised an eyebrow._

_"You don't think I'm going to keep it do you?" he asked. Fandral frowned._

_"I thought not. With me being a prince and all, it would be unseemly. Think of the rumors. The birth would be quite a scandal," he pointed out._

_Inside of his pocket, Loki squeezed the small pills, taking comfort in their presence. He smiled ruefully, stroking them thoughtfully. It was just as well that he terminated the pregnancy. The scandal of his true nature would bring shame upon his family. Especially if anyone ever found out who the true father was._

* * *

Loki froze as he heard movement within the bedroom.

"Loki," he heard Fandral call from the room. The god shuddered, moving to hide the pills. He then went back into the room, seeing Fandral dressing hurriedly. The warrior looked up at him, smiling.

"Apparently I am being summoned by the Allfather, Loki," he told him, holding up the small, glowing amulet around his neck. Loki swallowed, nodding a bit.

"So I want you to be a good boy while I'm gone. Stay here if you can help it. I don't want to have to come back and have to look for you," he threatened. Loki nodded, moving out of the way as Fandral exited the room. Loki turned his head away when Fandral attempted to kiss him. Fandral tsked.

"We're going to have to work on that attitude of yours later," he said, the hint of a promise sounding in his voice. He pushed past the younger man, leaving him alone on the floor.

Loki pressed himself against the wall, a feeling of an overwhelming sense of helplessness crashing down around him.

* * *

Tony inhaled deeply as he stepped out of the limousine. He eyed his tower thoughtfully, satisfied that it looked ok. At least it was still standing.

"See Pep? I told you. Everything was fine," he told her, shaking a finger. The woman turned her eyes to the heavens.

"You haven't seen the inside yet," she murmured, causing his shoulders to drop. He groaned, throwing a hand over his face dramatically.

"Come on Tony. Let's get this over with," she advised, going ahead of him. He stood there for a moment, mentally preparing himself for what was to come before running after her.

In the lobby, Tony tried working JARVIS without success. He sighed, pulling out his phone.

"I told you your total dependence on JARVIS wasn't good," Pepper told him. He glared at her out of the corner of his eye. She smiled, shaking her head.

"Don't worry. I'm pretty sure I can reprogram the elevator and JARVIS from here," he assured her, tapping commands into his phone for a temporary surge of power to the elevator. He would have to actually repair JARVIS to get everything running again. Pepper sighed.

"Alright then. Have at it," she encouraged. He nodded, determined. There was certainly no way they were walking up 92 flights of stairs and surviving.

* * *

Thor awoke with a start, realizing someone was standing by his bedside shaking him awake. It was Natasha.

"Thor...Thor get up!" she growled, smacking his muscular arm. He smiled sleepily and yawned.

"Lady Widow. Good morning to you. Have you need of my assistance?" he asked, getting out of bed. The god just smiled down at her and pulled Natasha into the sitting area of the floor.

"Thor...how close are you and Fandral?" she asked slowly as she sat down. Thor smiled, offering her breakfast which she declined.

"Fandral is like a brother to me. We hunted together, played together. We have even fought together in battle many, many times," he said happily. He paused, frowning.

"He has even saved my life quite a few times," he told her. He sighed, shaking his head.

"I won't judge Loki for bedding Fandral instead of me. I just wish he would have told me of his feelings beforehand. That he would have...'broken up' with me as you mortals tend to say," he told her, the hurt in his voice pouring through his attempts to cover it up. Natasha swallowed thickly.

"Thor, in a little while, you're going to hear some news you're not going to like," she told him. The god frowned.

"What is the matter?" he asked. Natasha hesitated.

"How much do you love Loki?" she asked. Thor grimaced.

"I do not it wish to speak of my brother any longer," he told her, rising to his feet to prepare breakfast. Natasha nodded.

"Alright then. What about Fandral? Was he ever...odd when you were younger?" she pressed. Thor's frown deepened.

"What are you getting at Lady Romanov?" he asked. Natasha shook her head.

"Listen, I-" Thor paused suddenly, looking down at the amulet around his neck. It glowed brightly, pulsating persistently. Thor frowned.

"What's that?" Natasha asked. Thor sighed.

"I am required upon Asgard. I do not think it is serious, though. Perhaps the others have not gotten the signal." He shrugged.

"I apologize. We must continue this another time," he told her.

"The other Asgardians have those too?" she asked. The god nodded.

"If they are required to do so then they shall receive a signal. The Allfather gifted us all with these charms so that it would be easier to summon us. I am sure they will meet me there if necessary," he told her, going into the bathroom to wash and dress.

Natasha sighed, deciding to take her leave.

* * *

Steve was in the middle of cooking his breakfast when his cell phone rang. He ran a hand through his hair, looking at the small screen of the flip phone. The other members had suggested he start simple, working his way up to more advanced technology.

"Hello, Natasha. How are you today?" he asked as he answered. The spy let out a huff of laughter.

"Good. You're up. And I'm fine. Thanks for asking," she replied. Steve smiled.

"Well, I just got back from my run and I decided to cook," he told her. He held in his sigh at her pause of uncertainty.

"You're more than welcome to come up Natasha. I live on the communal floor for a reason. Remember?" he told her. Natasha sighed.

"And maybe now you'll let me draw you," he pressed gently. He'd been working on portraits of each of the Avengers, succeeding in getting most of their consent.

The only ones left were Natasha, Clint, and Bruce. Tony, of course, had been the first to jump at the idea, demanding a whole collection to be displayed around the tower. He had insisted on paying his fellow Avenger as well, which Steve found a bit flattering.

"Ok. But only because I have nothing else to do," she said.

Half an hour later, she entered his floor via the stairs. God how she hated Tony Stark. She sighed, greeting the captain when she saw him. He smiled, handing her a plate of eggs, bacon, sausage and toast.

"You didn't have to make all this for me," she insisted. Steve shrugged.

"I know. But I figured you might be hungry. I never see you eat," he told her. She sighed taking a bite of the eggs.

"Oh Steve...this is the most amazing breakfast I've ever had," she told him. The captain grinned, giving her a nod.

"Well, I try," he said modestly.

They began to talk about everyday things, him pausing to make an adjustment to his portrait of her. She smiled as he told her of his childhood.

"Things must be so weird for you," she realized, studying him. Steve shrugged.

"A bit I guess. It's weird when the last thing you remember is living in the 1940's and when you wake up it's suddenly 2011. It's a bit disorienting at first," he told her. She nodded sympathetically, finally seeing how uncomfortable he must feel on a day to day basis.

The elevator doors opened suddenly and none other than Tony Stark stepped out onto the floor.

"Surprise!" he shouted happily. Both Steve and Natasha stared at the inventor in surprise.

"Tony...we weren't expecting you back until Thursday," the spy said calmly. Tony grinned.

"Well consider this my early Christmas gift to you," He looked around, wrinkling his nose at the mess lying around them.

"Uh...well Steve, if you want I can send Dummy up here to...well clean for you. If you want that is," he offered. The man sighed, looking around at the mess in the kitchen. The soldier shook his head, smiling sheepishly.

"No thank you, Tony. I'll make sure to clean up as soon as possible," he promised. The inventor clapped his hands together excitedly.

"Oh come on. Before I left I was working on Dummy. Fixing up a few glitches he had. I've tried him out in the lab, but now I want to see how he does with day to day stuff like this," the inventor said. Steve sighed, giving in. He knew from experience that persistence was Tony's specialty.

"Great! Just as a precaution, he may or may not spray you with a fire extinguisher. He means no harm. He just wants us all to stay safe," he said. Steve nodded quietly, going into the kitchen to put his plate in the sink. Tony pulled Natasha aside.

"Hey, what's up with White Lightening? I just saw him leaving with Fandral. He didn't look too happy," he asked. Natasha glanced at the soldier.

"I think he's still upset about Loki," she said. Tony scoffed.

"Oh please. He should go back to Jane. She's a nice girl. I mean there is a reason I encouraged Fandral to go after Loki." Natasha stared at him.

"What are you talking about Stark?" she demanded. She got a sick feeling she was about to hear some very upsetting news.

The inventor shrugged.

"Well I saw that Fandral was pining after tall dark and handsome, and Loki was obviously not all that happy with Thor, so I said why the hell not. Thor is a nice guy, but he's like a rug. He lets Loki get away with walking all over him," Natasha groaned.

"Tony, we need to talk," she told the inventor.

* * *

Thor greeted Heimdal as he exited the light of the Bifrost. Beside him, Fandral stood, adjusting his armor. He glanced at the other man, smiling a bit.

"Come now Thor. It can't be that bad. I'm sure Odin only called us to check on the progress of Midgard," he assured him. Thor's jaw clenched.

"He has Heimdal for that," he told him. Fandral sighed at the cold shoulder he was getting.

"Besides, why would he need to speak to all of us?" Thor said quietly.

Thor mounted his horse and spurred it onward. He could see the silhouette of Sif and Volstagg in the distance. He assumed Hogan was already in the palace.

Fandral sighed, grabbing the reins of his horse. Heimdal eyed him as he went, causing an uncomfortable weight to press onto the back of his neck. Fandral smiled, turning to him.

"Why Heimdal, you are looking quite well today. Perhaps I shall return to ask you of your secret," he said. Heimdal said nothing, turning back to his post. The Guardian continued to watch him as the group rode.

Fandral sighed, following behind Thor.

* * *

"Oh how I've missed you my sweet," Tony said, stroking the lab's work table. Bruce smiled.

"How was Japan?" the scientist asked. Tony shrugged.

"Well, you know how it is on business. Boring. I'm lucky I had Pepper or I would have tried to get on the first plane back to New York." Natasha followed him into the lab, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Tony I really need to talk to you," she said again. He sighed, reaching under the table for a hidden bottle of scotch. He got a glass from one of the cabinets and poured himself a generous helping. He took a slow sip, savoring the burn.

"Ah...I think I missed you even more," he whispered. He groaned, taking another sip. Pepper had not allowed any alcohol on the trip, claiming she wanted him clear headed and able to negotiate.

"Tony, this is important," Natasha told him. The inventor nodded.

"I'm listening," he said, tinkering with the tower's broken power source. The spy let her gaze roam over to Bruce. The scientist took the hint, gathering his notebooks.

"See you later Tony. I think I'll just take a nap or something. I really don't see how you can stay up for days straight working down here," Bruce shook his head as he left. Tony glanced suspiciously at Natasha as they were left alone.

"You're not gonna kill me down here are you? No one would be able to hear me scream after all," he pointed out. Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Tony you're a complete idiot!" she exclaimed, pacing around the room. She shook her head. Tony paused, coaxing the little machine back to life. He let out a triumphant sound of joy when it obeyed.

"My degrees say differently," he said. Natasha shook her head slowly.

"Is there something I'm missing here?" he asked, moving to place his pride and joy in a safe place. Natasha glared at him.

"Tony, I know in your own way you meant well by Loki, but there are some things you just do not take control of," she told him. The inventor glanced in her direction.

"Natasha, please. I know I'm not the only one who thought Loki screwing his own brother was messed up, even if they aren't related by blood," he told her. Around them, they could hear the tower booting back up. The elevator lights came back on as JARVIS took control again.

"Did you ever stop to think why Loki doesn't like Fandral?" she demanded. Tony shrugged, taking another drink. He figured he deserved another after fixing the fairly complicated piece of machinery in less than five minutes.

"I don't know. Maybe Loki thought Fandral was too pretty for him. Sometimes people want to get with someone who isn't as good-looking as them to boost their self-worth," he suggested. "Not that I've ever had that problem. Also no offense to Thor. He is a very good looking man," he told her. Natasha shook her head.

"Tony, it's more to it than that," she insisted. The inventor raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, really Natasha. Then enlighten me as to how I've made such a bad choice," Tony demanded. Natasha clenched her jaw, forcing down her anger.

"Fandral molested Loki when they were children," she blurted out. Tony froze, the glass of scotch he was drinking halfway to his mouth. He blinked a couple of times as the information sank in.

"Excuse me?" he demanded. Natasha crossed her arms over her chest.

"I've been talking to Loki about it and it took a little while, but he finally came out with it. Even Thor never knew," she told him. Tony poured himself another glass.

"What?!" he exclaimed after a long drink. Natasha said nothing as she watched the inventor begin to panic a bit.

"When did this happen? And if it did, why didn't Loki say anything way before now?" Tony asked. Natasha glared at him.

"What the hell do you mean if?" she demanded. Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Come on Natasha. You can't believe everything Loki says. Almost every word out of his mouth is a lie for his own personal gain," he told her. Natasha frowned.

She had to admit, if she hadn't seen the evidence herself, even she would have been a bit skeptical listening to Loki's story. She sighed.

"A couple weeks after you left for Japan, I began suspecting there was something more to it than a simple animosity between old friends," she told him. Tony groaned.

"Where is Loki now?" he asked. Natasha shook her head.

"I left him up on his floor. Fandral came up so I had to leave." Tony set his drink down.

"So, all this was going on and you left him alone?" the inventor asked. Natasha nodded.

"I know, but I just had to get out of there," she told him. Tony nodded.

"Alright. Let's talk to our little Trickster," he suggested, heading to the now operating elevator.

* * *

Thor frowned as he entered the throne room. The Allfather would have never summoned them so urgently of the matter hadn't been important.

"Father, what is the reason you have summoned us?" the god asked. The king came down from the dais as the small group approached.

"There is a monster loose in Vanaheim. Lord Njord has asked me to acquire warriors to defeat it since no ordinary Asgardian can defeat it. Rather than waste good soldiers, I have elected for you all to hunt it," the king said. The warriors nodded, bowing their heads. They left to prepare themselves for battle.

Thor paused, waving the others on to remain behind.

"Father I sense that is not the only reason you have summoned us?" he asked. Odin sighed, giving him a slight nod.

"Thor, I have been told that Heimdal can no longer see Loki. Something shrouds him from his sight," he told him. Thor frowned.

"What do you mean? Loki is using magic to hide?" Thor demanded. Odin placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Now, now Thor. It's not good to jump to conclusions so quickly," he urged. Thor nodded, choosing to listen before rushing into things.

"What could Loki be trying to hide upon Midgard? His crimes have been forgiven. Why would he jeopardize everything?" the god asked. Odin nodded.

"Why indeed. I only hope that the reason for this is not as insidious as it seems. After you handle this matter on Vanaheim, you shall return to Midgard and monitor Loki's actions carefully. I have reason to believe that things are going to become increasingly difficult," the Allfather informed his son. Thor nodded, bowing.

"I will do my best," he said.

* * *

Tony frowned, glancing around the room. He eyed the messiness of the floor. The god was usually clean. Tony called Loki's name again. He didn't get an answering call. He sighed, feeling something crunch under his foot. He glanced down, seeing the small bowl he'd stepped on. He picked up a shard, staring at the black powder residue on it.

"Well, he's either into hoodoo or making his own cocaine. Doesn't look safe, though," he said. Natasha took the shard to examine it herself.

"He's probably in the shower," she suggested. The inventor nodded.

Natasha made her way to Loki's room, listening for sounds of distress. She heard nothing at first. Slowly, she identified a slight choking sound coming from inside. Puzzled, she pushed the bathroom door open. She couldn't contain her gasp at the sight before her.

"Tony!" she exclaimed. Said man rushed into the room.

"What is it?" he asked. He froze, watching Natasha pull Loki's limp body from the shower to check for a pulse. The inventor cursed.

"JARVIS call S.H.I.E.L.D. and tell them to send an aircraft asap," he ordered, reaching out to grab a towel to wrap around the god. Natasha frantically felt along his neck, not getting anything. A few minutes after sending the request, S.H.I.E.L.D. returned the call.

"Sir, there is an incoming request from Director Fury," JARVIS told them. Tony nodded.

"Answer it," he ordered, taking a breath to steady himself. He stared at Loki, praying he wasn't dead.

"Stark," came the Director's voice over the speakers. "What is the meaning of this? Please tell me Loki hasn't gone rogue again," he said. Tony ran a hand over his eyes.

"Fury, we don't have time for that now. What I need you to know is that Loki is in need of medical attention and we're going to need that quinjet immediately," he said. The Director paused.

"The jet is en route. Tony what have you gotten into now?" he demanded. Tony groaned.

"It wasn't even my fault," he exclaimed. "Loki...we just found him," he said. Fury interrupted the inventor's panicked ranting to provide words of wisdom.

"What happened?" Fury demanded. When The inventor told him, the Director couldn't help but feel his heart sink. Loki was still technically a citizen of Asgard. Exiled prince or not, if the god died, Odin wouldn't hesitate to unleash his wrath upon the ones responsible.

"The jet will be there shortly. Until then stay calm. We can't afford any mistakes right now." Fury instructed before ending the call. Tony peeked into the bathroom.

"Should we move him?" he asked. Natasha nodded, almost crying out in relief when a faint pulse moved against her hand.

"He's still alive thank god. We can put him on the bed until S.H.I.E.L.D. comes. Then they can handle it from there," she told him. Tony nodded, grabbing Loki's ankles.

"I better get at least a thank you for this," he growled as he lifted. After Loki was safely situated, Natasha examined him for any injuries. She frowned, seeing a slight spidering of veins along his neck. She returned to the bathroom, leaving Tony to speak to Fury.

"So you think he slipped? Because Thor's gonna want to know what happened to his baby bro," In the bathroom, Natasha examined the floor of the shower.

Scattered about the drain were small black balls. She picked one up.

"I think he was poisoned," she told him, showing Tony one of the tiny pills. He paled upon seeing it.

"That doesn't look like something from Earth," he told her. She nodded, her expression echoing the worry in his voice.

"Sir, Director Fury has informed me that the quinjet to the tower will arrive in ten minutes," the AI said. Tony moaned.

"God please do _not_ be dead," he prayed, hoping whatever creator of the universe there was would take pity on him and answer his prayers.

* * *

Thor frowned, seeing a great deal of commotion on the roof of Stark Tower. When he landed, his eyes instantly became glued to the sight of his brother being wheeled into the jet. He immediately sought out Tony.

"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded. The inventor backed away, hoping not to get hit in the face.

"We found him like that ok? Nat and I went to check up on him and there it was," he explained. Thor frowned, pushing past the crowd of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to his brother. He stared down at the younger god, gripping Mjolnir tightly.

"What happened?" he asked as Natasha approached. She placed a small packet into his hands. He looked down, staring at the black powder and pills.

"Where did you get this?" he asked. Natasha sighed.

"We found it on Loki's floor. There was some crushed up in the front room and some of it in pill form near his body. I think he ingested it himself. We were wondering if you would know what it was. I had S.H.I.E.L.D. analyze it and it's definitely not of Earth origin," she said. Thor nodded slowly, glancing over at Loki as he was loaded onto the jet.

"Do you know what it is?" Natasha asked. Thor nodded silently. He said nothing as he turned away from her.

"Thor?" she called after him. The god unhooked Mjolnir from his belt and spun it around, preparing to take flight. Natasha stepped back, sensing the god was in a hurry. She only hoped that if Thor was going for help, he'd hurry back soon. She stepped into the quinjet and sat down in front of the unconscious god. She knew that whatever Loki had taken was slowly killing him.

* * *

Thor took off running as soon as he exited the Bifrost. He threw himself upon the first horse he saw and raced to the palace, clenching the packet Natasha had given him tightly in his hand.

If his suspicions were correct, then he knew Frigga would have an answer. His mother was an expert potion brewer and sorceress. He didn't trust anyone else with Loki's life.

He finally arrived at the place, his horse breathing hard through its nostrils from the exertion. Thor absentmindedly patted its neck and rushed off again.

"Mother," he said as he entered the royal chambers of his parents. He sighed in relief as he found his mother receiving a manicure from a serving girl. At Thor's look of urgency, Frigga shooed the girl away.

"Thor what has happened? You look worried," she said, rising to her feet. Thor thrust the pack into her hands.

"What is this?" he asked her in a hurried breath. She frowned looking at the contents. She opened the small plastic bag and stuck a finger inside to test the texture of the powder. She lifted the residue to her nose and took a small whiff. Immediately, her eyes widened.

"Thor, where did you get this?" she demanded. Thor shook his head.

"I was gone, but less than a day mother. When I returned to Midgard, there was a great commotion. I learned that Loki had been poisoned. I was told by the Lady Widow that he ingested these contents himself. I saw him, mother. He looked terrible. I believe you have had experience with this substance," Thor said. Frigga nodded grimly.

"I remember this very well. I often used it for young girls who had gotten pregnant from rape. Their bodies were not yet developed enough to bear a child, so this was the safest option," she told her son. Thor waited for her to continue.

"You already know of your brother's heritage, so I guess I should tell you of what comes with it," she said. Frigga motioned for Thor to sit.

"Loki came to me once, long ago. He claimed that he had met a girl who had been in need of this particular concoction. I gave him a few pills that I had made myself for such occasions. I assume that he learned to make them himself after that," she said. Thor leaned forward, eager to hear more.

"What of these pills mother?" he asked. Frigga shook her head.

"I discovered that he had been taking them also when he accidently overdosed himself. He had to see Eir after that. I eventually found out about it, though. He never gave me an explanation for it and I eventually let the matter go," she said. She shook her head.

"There has never really been a need for one, but I have most of the required items," she told Thor. His eyes widened.

"You do not have the needed ingredients?" he asked. The queen nodded, rising to her feet.

"I will need mainly because it loses its potency after a while when made, but it can be ready in a few hours," she promised. Thor sighed in relief.

"Do you think Loki will be able to wait that long?" Thor asked. Frigga paused, suddenly becoming uncertain.

"It all depends on how much was taken," she told him. Thor nodded, rising to his feet.

"I shall need you to fetch me a feather of Agnar," she said. Thor frowned. He had heard of the eagle king before, but it was known that Agnar moved his home every few decades, depending on his mood. Thor hoped that the eagle had chosen his home in a known place on Asgard. He was well known for his desire for secrecy.

"Is there no other way," he asked. Frigga shook her head.

"I am sure Heimdal would know. Ask him. Quickly now. Loki's life depends upon these ingredients," she told him. Thor nodded, setting off on his task.

* * *

Fury frowned, reading Loki's medical report. The god's blood seemed perfectly fine. There was nothing that indicated Loki was dying at all. He shook his head, handing the tests back to the doctor.

"Check them again. There has to be something we're missing here," he ordered. The man nodded, moving to prepare another syringe for use. Fury left the room, going to seek out the two Avengers that had tagged along on the quinjet ride. He found them in his office where he had left them a few minutes before, waiting nervously.

"Alright, start from the beginning," he prompted. Tony took a sip of his scotch, motioning for Natasha to go first. After she explained the situation once again, Fury leaned back in his seat, pondering the situation.

"Has there been any word from Thor yet?" he asked. Both Avengers shook their heads.

"No sir. But we were hoping that he was already working on a way to help Loki. He said he knew what the stuff was that Loki took," Natasha told him. Beside her, Tony shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Fury glanced at him.

"Do you have something to add Stark?" he asked. Tony stayed silent as he felt himself being scrutinized. He knew that partially, this situation had come about because of his doing. The sense of guilt was setting in and getting stronger by the minute.

Natasha sighed, taking pity on him.

"It's not your fault Tony. If I couldn't see it with my background, then it would have been highly unlikely that you would have either," she said comfortingly. The inventor set his drink down, the glass still half full.

"I'm going for a walk. Need to clear my head," he told them. Fury nodded and let him go. He then looked to Natasha.

"I'm assuming you want to know why I didn't tell S.H.I.E.L.D. the moment I found out," she said quietly. The Director nodded.

"It would have been the best choice given the situation. Fandral could have been removed from contact with Loki sooner and this would never have happened. There was also the risk of-" he said sternly. Natasha nodded, raising a hand to cut him off.

"I know that sir, but things were not that simple, sir," the spy insisted. Fury stopped speaking.

"If things were as you say, then enlighten me Agent Romanov," the Director urged. Natasha sighed.

"Sir, Loki endured Fandral's abuse for centuries. I'm very certain that he developed a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome. He asked me not to reveal anything until he felt it was the right moment. I just respected his wishes. I didn't want him to act irrationally," she told him. Fury sighed, rubbing his temples. He shook his head slowly, trying to figure out a proper course of action.

"What do you suppose we do now sir?" Natasha asked. Fury glanced up at her.

"The only thing we can do. We wait for Thor to return," he told her. She nodded, rising to her feet.

"I suppose I should check on Tony. He feels somewhat responsible because he was actually the one who allowed Fandral access to Loki," she told him. The Director frowned, but waved her on. He had a lot of things to think about and Tony Stark's guilty conscience didn't concern him in the slightest.

* * *

Thor paused in his ascent for a moment to catch his breath. He glanced back at Sif, who was steadily passing by him.

"Come on Thor. We need to get that feather before Agnar takes off for his nightly hunt," she told him. Upon hearing of the situation with Loki, the female warrior had insisted on coming with him, eager for the challenge. Thor hung his head, fighting the tremor in his muscles. He forced himself to continue on.

After another hour, they finally reached the summit where the eagle king Agnar was rumored to have made his home. Thor sighed in relief as he pulled himself over the ledge. He lay on his back for a long time to catch his breath. Sif nudged his chest with her foot.

"Thor, we're almost there," she told him. The god nodded wearily. He struggled to his feet at her insistence.

"Let us continue," he declared. Sif nodded slowly, allowing him to lead the way.

* * *

Tony sat by Loki's bedside, feeling exhausted. Natasha had found him an hour earlier, but had decided to let him have his space. The inventor watched the rise and fall of the god's chest, listening to the beeping of the ventilator he had been connected to.

After speaking to the doctors, it was clear that whatever substance that Loki had used required an antidote not known to anyone on Earth. Their only hope was Thor.

Tony stood, taking a few moments to walk around the room to stretch his legs. He glanced over at Natasha who was watching him quietly from her corner of the room.

"Shouldn't you be off on a mission with Barton?" he asked her. She smiled.

"I think I'm needed here more," she replied. Tony grunted as he sat back down, a slight tingling beginning his lower calf.

"Do what you want. Not like I can stop you or anything," he grumbled, sinking deeper into his seat. Natasha studied him slowly.

"I'm sure Thor will be back soon. He wouldn't abandon his brother if he could help it," she said. Tony huffed. They sat in silence for the next few hours.

* * *

Fandral winced as the girl cleaned his wound. He sighed, clenching his hand into a fist. He had never actually seen the wolves Sköll and Hati Hródvitnisson up close had been surprised that they had dared to enter Asgard alone either. It had been a very unusual situation for him. He glanced up as the girl suddenly bowed. The golden armor of Heimdal glimmered brilliantly even in the dimming light.

"Ah, Gatekeeper. How kind of you to visit me. I can assure you this is nothing I cannot handle. Hopefully, it will scar so that I will have a memoir of the battle," he said. Heimdal approached him slowly, the large sword on his back gleaming even from a distance. Fandral motioned for the girl to finish her job before sending her away.

As he pulled on a clean tunic, Fandral smiled.

"Shouldn't you be guarding the Bifrost?" he asked. Heimdal moved to close the door to the warrior's chambers. Fandral shifted nervously as he began to see what was happening.

"So you know I presume?" he asked slowly. He watched as the Guardian's jaw clenched.

"It took me quite a while to realize that it was you who stole that cloaking amulet from Lady Beladine to shield yourself from my gaze. I am the Watcher of the Nine Realms and I will not stand for it any longer. The Allfather will be informed and everything shall be revealed," Heimdal told him. Fandral smiled.

"Really? You plan to reveal my misdeeds then. Is that it?" he said.

"How could you do it? All of those children..." Heimdal said in disbelief. Fandral sighed, brushing his hair out of his face.

"They were just playthings really. Practice for my main goal. I took such pride in claiming a prince of Asgard," the warrior told him. Heimdal's eyes widened.

"What do you..." he asked, slightly confused. Then it dawned on him.

"Loki," he breathed. Fandral nodded.

"Of course. My most prized possession. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to him. He must assuredly miss my presence by now," the warrior told him. Heimdal blocked his path.

"You are not going anywhere. You shall be held accountable for your crimes. And judging by how many children you've raped and killed, I have no doubt what your punishment will be," the Guardian said. Fandral's face twisted with rage as Heimdal advanced.

Fandral snatched up his sword, pushing Heimdal off of him to get to it. The Guardian dodged the slash directed at his face. Fandral let out a cry of outrage as Heimdal's greatsword swept his legs out from under him. The Guardian twisted Fandral's sword arm until its breaking point and knelt on his chest once the weapon had been kicked a safe distance away.

"Fandral, you were a great warrior once. How could you do this?" he demanded. The warrior smiled through bloody teeth.

"I am still a great warrior. Can a man not indulge a little in his most coveted desires?" he asked. Heimdal drew back, shaking his head.

"Your death will not be honorable Fandral. I will make sure of it," the guardian promised.

* * *

Thor waited impatiently outside of his mother's garden. He hoped that she would brew her potion faster for Loki's sake. He didn't know how long the effects of the poison took to become fatal.

He sighed heavily, sitting on a stone bench to wait. He glanced up as Sif entered the private gardens, looking flustered. He frowned, immediately thinking she had gone to visit Loki and had gotten bad news.

"Sif, what is it?" he demanded, thinking the worst."You must come quickly. They are spewing lies about Fandral. The Allfather is seeking your decision in the matters," she told him. Thor nodded.

"Tell my mother that I have gone to speak with my father should she come looking for me," he said to the Asgardian standing guard.

Thor followed the woman into the throne room where Odin was giving council over a bloodied and Fandral. He glanced around, his gaze stopping on a group of council members who were speaking in hushed tones. Heimdal stood beside the throne, speaking to Odin. He turned his attention to his father.

"Allfather what is the meaning of this madness? Have you gone insane? Unhand him. What sort of treatment is this of a valued warrior of Asgard?" he said. Odin came down from his dais, carrying Gungnir in his fist. He motioned for the guards to take Fandral to the dungeons.

"Thor, Heimdal has brought forth heinous accusations. Those that warrant the punishment of death many times over if proven to be true," the king said. Thor glanced over at the warrior worriedly. Fandral had been restrained by chains and was swaying back and forth, most likely due to blood loss judging from the amount splattered across his face and clothes.

"Stating what exactly?" he asked. Odin sighed, shaking his head.

"There have been claims that Fandral is the reason many children have disappeared over the past few centuries. Supposedly raped and murdered by his hand," he told his son. Thor shook his head, a feeling of disgust leading through his stomach.

"Why would he dare to make such accusations?" the god asked. Heimdal stepped forward.

"I have seen with my own eyes the effects he has wrought upon innocents. And I also believe he has done the same to your brother, Loki. He admitted to it himself when I confronted him barely an hour ago," Heimdal said. Thor stared at the man in horror.

"Fandral has done no such thing. He and I are blood brothers. We have fought in countless battles together. He would never..." Thor trailed off as Fandral began to struggle against the men restraining him as they began to drag him off. Thor started forward, but Heimdal stopped him. Sif moved to go around the Guardian, but stopped at Thor's behest.

"I do not think it wise to confront him now. He is quite hostile at the moment," Heimdal warned. Thor ignored him.

"Father, you must let him go. I know Fandral. There is no way he would have done any of those things. If he had done anything to Loki, then I would have known," Thor insisted. The king shook his head.

"I am sorry Thor, but what Heimdal has told me must be looked into. I cannot in good conscience release an accused man among the people just because he is a dear and close friend," he said. Thor stared at his father for a long moment, not comprehending how Odin could actually believe this tale. He sighed, bowing his head.

He knew that he would not be able to change the Allfather's mind through reasoning. He could only hope that he saw the error in Heimdal's judgment and release Fandral after a fair trial. He also hoped that Heimdal also would overcome whatever grief Fandral had caused him and see the truth.

* * *

Tony sighed, sipping his coffe. Natasha had insisted upon it when she saw that he was keeping hiimself awake hours on end. She didn't say it, but he saw that she was beginning to worry for him.

The door to the room opened and Natasha walked into the room with a doctor, Thor following behind them. The inventor jumped up when he saw the vial in the god's hand.

"Thor buddy, where have you been? Is tha the antidote?" he asked. The god nodded solemly.

"I returned to Asgard because my mother is an excellent potions maker." he said, handing the vial off to he doctor.

"Asgard is in a state of chaos. Fandral has been accused of rape and murder. He is currently awaiting trial. Accused by Heimdal! I cannot believe the absurdity of this," the of fumed. Natasha and Tony exchanged worried looks. Tony had him explain the situation more.

"Thor, perhaps we should talk outside," Natasha suggested. The god frowned, but followed them out into the hallway.

"What is the matter?" the god asked. Natasha sighed.

"Thor, everything Heimdal said is true," she told him.

* * *

Thor sat in Loki's room all night long, silently watching the younger god's chest rise and fall. The confusion he felt was slowly turning into a festering anger deep within him. He was still having trouble believing what Natasha had told him.

As light poured into the room, Thor watched as Loki slowly awoke. The god groaned, his skin feeling as if it were on fire.

"Loki," Thor aid quietly.

"Am I dead?" Loki asked hoarsely. His throat felt as if it were made of sandpaper.

"Thankfully, no," the god answered.

Loki curled on his side, choosing to stare at the wall instead.

"I know what happened, LokI," the god said. Loki continued to stare at the wall.

"No you don't," he said. Thor frowned, standing in front of the window.

"Fandral is to be executed after the first full moon of the month. Sif is devestated. The Allfather has to calm the people of Asgard. There is nothing but chaos amongst us now," he said.

"I got pregnant several times," the younger god told his brother suddenly. Thor's brow furrowed as he felt the anger rise in him again. He was still having trouble with the fact that he had gone all those centuries without knowing what Fandral had done to Loki.

"I started making my own potions so I wouldn't have to return to mother and risk her finding out," Loki continued. Thor sighed, shaking his head.

"It is alright Loki," the thunder god told him, stroking his back soothingly. Loki wrenched away from him, a look of disgust plastered on his face.

"How can you bear to touch me? After what happened," Loki said, sitting up. Thor paused.

"What do you mean? I love you Loki. I cannot fault you for terminating a pregnancy you did not want," he said. Loki held his gaze for a long moment before opening his mouth. A single tear spilled down his cheek as he spoke.

"Even if on one of those occasions...the child was ours?" he asked quietly. Thor held his breath, not sure if he had heard Loki correctly.

"What do you mean?" he asked uncertainly. Loki gave him his coldest stare.

"I was young Thor, and I loved you too much to see you deal with the shame. If I had given birth to our child we would have most certainly been exiled from Asgard. Or worse," Loki told him. Thor stood, pacing around the room.

"You knew you carried my child and yet you still..." Thor shook his head, unable to fathom such an idea.

"I did not care what others thought of us. I still don't," Thor thundered. Loki flinched at the ferocity in his voice. Their calmed himself before continuing.

"Why did you not tell me?" he asked. Look shook his head.

"You know how you were in your youth. Rash and thick headed. I feared that if you ever found out then you would have killed Fandral," he said. Thor stared at the floor.

"You're right. I would have. And rightly so," he declared. Loki turned to glare at him.

"Then Odin would have had you killed. Rightly so," the younger god snapped. Thor ran a hand through his hair.

"I am sorry Loki. I should have known," Thor said. Loki snorted.

"There is nothing to apologize for. Even Heimdal never knew," he said.

"Well he does now. He is the one who told Odin," he said. Loki nodded slowly.

"It was not your fault Loki. He forced you. I think I should have known. In the deepest parts of my mind, I think I suspected that there was something between you and Fandral that was more..." Thor shook his head, unable to bring himself to finish.

"I love you Loki. And now that Fandral is gone and will never bother you again, I only hope that you can will come to me when you are ready to talk more. Of if you wish to revive our relationship," he said. Limited said in silenvery long that Their feared that he had become unconscious. He was relieved when Loki spoke.

"You still want me even after all of this. I can't fathom why," he said. Their sighed.

"Am I not supposed to love you through pain Loki? We share this burden whether you say so or not. You know where you can find me when you are ready to talk brother," Thor told him.

Loki listened to the sound of the door going, knowing he should say something. He had already told Thor more than he had expected of. He knew he should feel relieved that Fandral would no longer be able to reach him, but he knew in his heart that he would never forget.

**Author's Note:**

> I know having the Avengers travel up all those flights of steps is crazy and highly unlikely, but oh well. Also, there may be another fic after this one. I'll let you know. Thank you again for reading this.
> 
> :)


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